Skiing with Hammond at Homewood - We were indeed magnificent

15-18 March 2011: Old Frogs Ski Lake Tahoe, the 5th Annual

by Mike Hammond

15-18 March 2011: Old Frogs Ski Lake Tahoe, the 5th Annual

We gathered once again to embellish our almost forgotten tales, make up new ones, argue politics, drink and eat, play ping pong, and even possibly ski. Our gang of 1960s era frogs: Chris Stack, John Gulick (Guns), Vern Clinton, Lance Mann, Bill Jebb (the Heeb) and Mike Hammond rendezvoused on the west shore of Lake Tahoe. George Tillotson (Jorge) with his proverbial “definite maybe” was also partially present.

On Tuesday Mike picked up Chris from the Reno airport, while Guns and The Heeb rendezvoused with Vern in Grass Valley before caravanning to Tahoe. Guns was required to put on his best behavior during a legal conference call with a judge in a court room before they could continue to Tahoe. Before getting underway they made an unannounced stop for Guns to buy what the Heeb described as “some unnecessary items” that took more than thirty minutes; reported to be several multicolored girly silk scarves possibly for Cheery, Gun’s new potential beau. Stay tuned. While Guns was in the store the Heeb managed to dislocate the plastic shroud under the front of his rented SUV by running into a cement parking curb disguised as a “snow bank”. Not sure about these guys from Boston. When Clinton later fixed the shroud with a rubber mallet by smashing it back into place the Heeb breathed a huge sigh of ‘rental car’ relief.

With fat skis in hand and poles rented from Dave’s Ski Shop, again discounted by singing the Univ. of Michigan fight song, the group descended on 710 Sierra Vista. Mike prayed the ensuing damage on his winter abode would be minimal.

After arriving at the house Heeb immediately goaded us into a ping pong rematch and reestablished himself, once again, as king of singles. But when we played doubles Chris and I beat Guns and the Heeb. Before dinner everyone watched Swift Silent Deep, a DVD about the Jackson Hole Air Force, ski bums who live and love skiing out of bounds in deep light powder. Vicariously we were all internalizing, at least hoping, “I can do that.”

It didn’t take long to pick up our political haranguing, like ‘let the games begin’. Within a year a wealth of political events had transpired providing plenty of ammunition for both sides. After several hours of blabbering, sputtering, hand waving, and pontificating absolute truths we went nowhere. Jaw flapping your opinion in an extreme position to make a point got just got everyone more agitated; no progress was expected nor made. My belief is that if a more calm rational conversation could be exchanged based on facts we would be much closer to agreement than not. We represent a microcosm of the world today.

Lance Mann once again drove all the way from southern California battling a horrendous snow storm in his 2011 Prius. Sitting on I-80 in a Sierra Nevada blizzard queued up in the chain control line, sans chains and good options. He elected civil disobedience and raced through the check point “piggy backing” on the car in front; authorities shouting as he flew past. He arrived in his winter, and summer; maybe only garb in 25 degree temperatures – flip flops, T-shirt and shorts – signature Lance. By then we had eaten most of Sara’s tasty casserole and Lance managed to finish it off.

It snowed hard all night with temperatures in the low thirties providing a marvelous blanket of Sierra cement throughout the Tahoe Basin. It was late morning before we headed to Homewood to ski the deeps. It wasn’t until we had successfully parked ten yards from the lift line when Guns sheepishly admitted to forgetting his ski boots. “Check your gear, skis poles and boots,” I admonished everyone before we left. “How did he make it through training?” I wondered. Heeb was fit to be tied but drove Guns back to the house; Heeb shaking his bowed head muttering silent profanities. Gun’s caper broke the group in two so we decided to meet for lunch at the white yurt at 1:00PM. Chris, Lance and I went on to ski a few runs off of the Ellis chair. The day was warm, overcast, and it was snowing with the wind howling. Chris quickly spotted what he judged to be a great looking blue run called Hidden Vain, right up his alley, and indicated that would be one that he would ‘slaughter’.

Poised at the top, I went first to lead the way, Chris second with Lance watching our rear. Within the first twenty yards, no less, Chris managed to auger in so hard in the ski pole deep snow that both legs became trapped under him along with one arm, face down and his mouth was fully packed with snow. Unable to speak or breathe he unsuccessfully tried to extract the wad from his mouth with his gloved hand. He started to get a little excited has Lance approached to help. Excitement then boarded on panic, unable to extract the snow or his limbs, his breathing became labored. He thought the end was near. The matter was serious but he was fortunately OK. It took an inordinate amount of time to dig himself out, find his skis, dust the snow off, and click back into his skis. Later when queried about using his nose to provide air into his lungs he became a bit perplexed.

But this was just the beginning for this wannabe “Homewood Air Force” ski bum. Before we got back on the same lift Chris had fallen several more times. In one sitz-mark he lost his ski where he and Lance had to use the other ski to knife through the deep powder to find it. Chris was spent. We headed to the lodge in more unpacked snow much to Chris’s chagrin but found refuge and the rest of the guys bubbling with tales in the warm cafe. It’s difficult to comprehend that so many stories can happen in such a short period of time. Guns had an identical experience trying to find his lost ski while the Heeb was nearby but never saw him. Clearly everyone’s eyes were bigger than their stomach trying to negotiate the Sierra powder. Chris recorded this as the worst day of skiing in his sixty plus years of mastering this sport. Needless to stay the Homewood Air Force patch was not forthcoming much less the dream of the coveted but unattainable Jackson Hole AF insignia. The hot tub along with a cold beer helped heal the mind and soul.

Since Vern and John needed to leave the next morning we went to dinner at Wolfdales in Tahoe City, known for great food, service and ambiance. We were surprised to find George Tillotson at the restaurant when we arrived so we had a table for seven. George then went to his truck where he kept bringing us a wonderful cabernet sauvignon from his private stash. We quickly launched into more political diatribes, old stories and guy bonding. Sitting next to us having dinner was a young couple, Howard and Jordan. Jordan was a feisty young good looking 25 year old brunette from New York who happened to be ‘gathering’ our conversation when she mistakenly threw a comment at us. Our table erupted in interest and glee to learn more about Jordan. After bantering back and forth it was soon established that the Heeb and she would marry if he would by her a house and she would leave Howard. Further into the evening with more barbs they managed to get divorced but the Heeb still owed her house as part of the arrangement, $400 grand as I remember. Whew, what an evening of repartee, conviviality and teasing. I would like to thank everyone for treating me to this delicious dinner. It was great fun with great friends. Thank you!

That night the temperature dropped to fourteen degrees and it snowed four inches of fresh light powder. The next day was a blue bird day, clear, cold with the sun shining. Chris, Lance, Heeb and I piled into the SUV and went to Alpine Meadows. We met George there so the five of us skied together.
It was a gorgeous day to ski. We started out with a few warm up runs and then hit the Summit Chair for runs from top to bottom. It was a perfect day, light powder, cold, sunshine and good friends. Chris reported that this may have been the best day of skiing in his life. This would make his worst day and his best day within twenty-four hours. The wind blew hard off the ridge and cornices, an ominous sign portending heavy weather coming. After lunch at the mid mountain chalet Lance had to shove off for southern California.

The four of us finished off the day near 3:30 when George left to return to the Bay Area. Jebb, Chris and I returned to the house for a well deserved hot tub and ping pong rematch. I beat Chris, the Heeb beat me and then low and behold, Chris beat the Heeb, ergo, I can beat the Heeb! After another nice dinner of beef bourguignon the Heeb wanted another game but fatigue overcame us so the Heeb will have to live with defeat, a horrible feeling I know as evidenced by my tirade when I lost to him.

The weather forecast was not good. Snow, lots of it, was coming. We decided to leave a day early so Chris changed his flight to leave out of San Francisco. We got up early the next morning, tidied up the house and were gone by 8:45AM to return the skis and hit the road. Jebb drove his car to the San Francisco and I drove Chris to SFO. It turns out just hours after we went over Donner Pass a big rig jackknifed causing several cars to pile up and one fatality. The road was closed for hours. We dodged a bullet but Chris did not.

Chris Stack, “the trip from hell: 3-4 hr. in line in SFO ( like the donner party, i was ready to eat the guy in front of me)...then 6pm flight to Las Vegas, night at the Tropicana, a den of all things cheesy and worthless, up @ 4:30 for 6 am flight to Chicago, nothing out of Chi either airport on sat so I drove ( rental $300 for drop in diff. city), got here @ 6pm sat. delta offered me a flight at 8 pm to Detroit, overnight in Detroit, and 6 am to Indy for $800! WHAT A DEAL. anyway, it was worth the effort for the time we had. you are a great host and great friend....sign me up for next year, only make sure someone is following me in the deep shit I don't want to die like that. I will post pictures. Hang in there.” Chris.

But don’t forget Chris, you bested the Heeb in ping pong! It was another great time with good friends and wonderful skiing.